uncle...

I swear the Lord has it in for me…
This past month has rocked my boat, to the point that I am waving a white flag.  What am I not getting?  My heart is being torn in two.  My sister and her sweet family, my kids best friends, are moving 14hrs away.  I don't know what  I am going to do without her.   Mr. C's grandmother, who is not replaceable passed away.  My great Aunt Peggy passed yesterday.  My nephew and niece are headed off to college and on a mission.  My best friend in Idaho Falls is moving to another city.  Everyones chapters are ending and people are moving on.  Yet  I am still.  For the first time, it's not me being torn away.  When we had been married for 8 years we had moved over 10 times!!!  I always thought it was harder going through the change, moving on to the unknown, but now I am on the other side of the fence, watching others, in a non stalking kind of way, move on, to mature.  And I don't think I like it.

The only sure thing in life is….change. 

I researched the word change and according to the internet dictionary, change is, to make the form, nature, content, future course, to transform or convert, exchange for something else, usually of the same kind, to give and take reciprocally, to become different, to become altered or modified and to pass gradually into. I like the idea of becoming different or to pass gradually into. It makes the idea of change much more excepting and exciting.

During Mr. C's grandma's viewing I had a wave of sadness and awareness wash over me.  I grabbed onto my darling nephew Scott and held him for a long time and bawled like a baby.  I started rambling,  "Scott, everyone is moving on.  Everyone is changing.  Grandma's gone, Kate's on her mission and you are headed off to college. It's not fair.  You're going to go off get married and have a billion babies.  You'll never have time for us anymore."  He whispered in my ear,  "No I will come back and I'll have a little Auna Saylin running around with me."  This kid is quick, sweet and full of love.  He's got the cutest dimples, dimples that he'll flash at any girl and every young lass will swoon. Even thinking about it makes my heart ache.  We put so much love and time into our relationships, but adventually people have to move on.

Change is not simple, nor easy.  However, when the Lord is on your side the transition is more smooth, you have peace and can feel help from the other side.  The Lord is always  twisting and pulling and helping us grow.  Remember that when you have a green light from the Lord to move forward, don't look back.  Just take that wild and crazy step in the unknown abyss.  And when you start to hesitate at that green light remember to, "Doubt your doubt before you doubt your faith." - Dieter F. Uchdorft 

My sweet niece Mylee, my sister's kid that just moved, age 8, ran a 5k with me.  I am NOT a runner, repeat, I AM NOT A RUNNER.  Ask a few of my friends who saw me summersault over a median at 6am a few years back.  They will testify to my not so awesome running skills.  So I chose to be Mylee's buddy, aka my buddy.  As we were running we sang songs.  No I sang songs.  Mainly, to get her to smile.  We spent time focusing on trees, other runners, and talking about 3rd grader stuff.  When we reached about half way her legs started itching bad and she wanted to walk for a while.  I turned to her and gave her my mantra (Who knows where I came up with this!  But it seems to help!) that I share with my running friends, "Mylee we started strong, we are staying strong and we will finish strong!  Now let's keep moving!"  She smiled, liking the idea and picked up her pace.  

Just yesterday I called my sister and Mylee answered.  I asked her "Where are you?  Are you guys getting along?  Are you being good for your mom?"  She replied, "Ya, were just watching Shrek."  I said, "Hey My can you do me a favor?  Next week when your Momma's having a rough day unpacking the boxes, will you grab both her shoulders and look into her eyes and tell her, "Mom we started strong, we are staying strong and darn it, we are going to finish strong!  And then give her the biggest hug and tell her I love her."  I could tell in her voice she was smiling remember our run one morning not too long ago.  

We gotta dig deep when change is all around us.  Dig deep into our roots, our foundation, what makes us who we are.  I've been on both ends, changing and just being still and you have to know who you are .  Who are you?  We need to know when times are rocky.  Solidify your faith for when the waves of life come crashing in.  Anchor your soul to the Lord.

What can we do for friends that are experiencing change?

1) Have patience.  Everyone has something they struggle with.  Some are just better at hiding it.  Be patient with your friends when they may have a short fuse. 

2) Lend a hand.  Be willing to pack a box, bring over a lunch, send them a text.  Let them know you care. 

3) Give un decided attention and listen.  Most of the time people wanna feel validated and heard.

4) Give advice when asked (or give unsolicited advice, like me, which always go practically perfect every time! ;) ;)) 

While attending my great aunt Peggy's funeral They showed a video of her life and the last scene they shared this quote she would tell us all the time, "God is in his heaven and every things going to be ok."  I love this simple yet profound message!  Be still my soul. 

Much summer love-

Auna Leigh

the next best place to home...

Service has always been a big part of my life. When I was young I remember countless snowy mornings my dad would be gone from the house, out with the tractor shoveling driveways.  He still does it to this day, but usually he brings along a few grandkids with snow shovels. When I was a teenager and would drag my feet to a youth activity, without fail my mom would say, “Auna Leigh you can make shoveling manure fun!”  She would then share the story of when she had the opportunity to take some youth to help someone in the congregation on their farm.  The youth were skeptical of working in the barn among animals and their droppings, but before long everyone was having a good time, even singing along.  It was THE activity.

When I was about to turn ten years old, my Dad asked all of us girls who would like to come with him on a trip.  Mind you, we were all in school.  My parents were never afraid to take us out of school to be with them.  I was quick to jump at the chance.  I don’t remember how I was chosen; I had four other sisters that could sweeten up my Dad real good and a brother who was the apple of his eye.  But this was my trip to be with my Dad.  

We were off, headed south, to open a new door to my life.  Besides a stint with my stinky loafers and a prank my Dad pulled at a department store that embarrassed the crud out of me, we made it.  About three years previously my Dad had started a new company.  It was an elderly care facility that was more like a home that assisted elderly that can’t live on their own.  My great grandmother was put in a huge facility that did not take care of her.  It tore my Dad up and he knew there would have to be another way.  Thus Beehive Homes was established.  It was a big part of my family’s life.  We had just opened one up in Lehi, UT and my Dad had to be there for the ribbon cutting ceremony.  As I walked into that home twenty-one years ago, I was enveloped into a spiritual paradise. 

 I spent every waking minute and sleeping, for that matter, in the home.  For five days I sat at the feet of giants as they told me their life stories.  I was able to cook for them, talk with them, play with them, and read with them.  I fell in love with them.  I met men who were accountants and famers, women who were full time moms and others who were receptionists.  I even met a man who was a cross dresser, now that was interesting.  There was one lady in particular whom I’ll call Mable.  She knitted coverings for hangers and Mable knitted her way into my heart.  We spent many hours together, her teaching me to knit and telling me about her kids and me soaking it all in.  I felt important and happy.  These people needed me, and I needed them.  I realized that week that  I was happy; I drank freely of God's love as  I served.  I never wanted to leave.  I wanted to stay in the sanctuary of the elderly's love.

Recently I went to a beautiful rendition of Les Mis, my husband and I were brought to tears when Jean Valjean sang "To love another person is to see the face of God."  After the play we skipped dinner and headed straight to see Craig's Dad.  He was ill and in a home recovering.  We sat by him and cried.  Held his hands and talked with him.  We didn't want to leave.  We felt close to God.

While in that home years ago I felt like I could see how God loves others;  I felt I was among earthly angels.   Saying goodbye was not easy, even after Dad extended his trip for me.  Shortly after our trip Dad received a call, my friend Mable had passed away.  I was devastated.  I already missed her terribly.   I sat in my room holding my knitted hangers and cried.  And this is when my love affair with service was born.

The thing is love is an amazing gift, when given, it only expands.  It's the law of positive attraction.  If we hold on to love and don't share our love with hard work it fizzles and dies out.   The relationships that tear at our heart strings, to where they feel like a frayed violin bow, are the ones worth fighting for.  Life is exhausting, but when we kneel down and wash a loved one's feet or pull them into our lap to play with their hair, we are refreshed, we are renewed.  We need to put aside our own needs, our own troubles and enjoy the blessings that come from it.

I am grateful for a mother who encouraged a sunny disposition when asked to do something I’d rather not and a father who taught me to serve, who gave me opportunities to serve and introduced me to a woman who showed a little ten year old how to love others.  I am beyond grateful for my Father who watches over me, who knows me, who teaches me, who strengthens me.  It is through this Father I am led to others who are in need of His love.   He sent his Son who gave us the perfect example of love and service.  And to Him I dedicate my life and this here blog.