This past month has rocked my boat, to the point that I am waving a white flag. What am I not getting? My heart is being torn in two. My sister and her sweet family, my kids best friends, are moving 14hrs away. I don't know what I am going to do without her. Mr. C's grandmother, who is not replaceable passed away. My great Aunt Peggy passed yesterday. My nephew and niece are headed off to college and on a mission. My best friend in Idaho Falls is moving to another city. Everyones chapters are ending and people are moving on. Yet I am still. For the first time, it's not me being torn away. When we had been married for 8 years we had moved over 10 times!!! I always thought it was harder going through the change, moving on to the unknown, but now I am on the other side of the fence, watching others, in a non stalking kind of way, move on, to mature. And I don't think I like it.
The only sure thing in life is….change.
I researched the word change and according to the internet dictionary, change is, to make the form, nature, content, future course, to transform or convert, exchange for something else, usually of the same kind, to give and take reciprocally, to become different, to become altered or modified and to pass gradually into. I like the idea of becoming different or to pass gradually into. It makes the idea of change much more excepting and exciting.
During Mr. C's grandma's viewing I had a wave of sadness and awareness wash over me. I grabbed onto my darling nephew Scott and held him for a long time and bawled like a baby. I started rambling, "Scott, everyone is moving on. Everyone is changing. Grandma's gone, Kate's on her mission and you are headed off to college. It's not fair. You're going to go off get married and have a billion babies. You'll never have time for us anymore." He whispered in my ear, "No I will come back and I'll have a little Auna Saylin running around with me." This kid is quick, sweet and full of love. He's got the cutest dimples, dimples that he'll flash at any girl and every young lass will swoon. Even thinking about it makes my heart ache. We put so much love and time into our relationships, but adventually people have to move on.
Change is not simple, nor easy. However, when the Lord is on your side the transition is more smooth, you have peace and can feel help from the other side. The Lord is always twisting and pulling and helping us grow. Remember that when you have a green light from the Lord to move forward, don't look back. Just take that wild and crazy step in the unknown abyss. And when you start to hesitate at that green light remember to, "Doubt your doubt before you doubt your faith." - Dieter F. Uchdorft
My sweet niece Mylee, my sister's kid that just moved, age 8, ran a 5k with me. I am NOT a runner, repeat, I AM NOT A RUNNER. Ask a few of my friends who saw me summersault over a median at 6am a few years back. They will testify to my not so awesome running skills. So I chose to be Mylee's buddy, aka my buddy. As we were running we sang songs. No I sang songs. Mainly, to get her to smile. We spent time focusing on trees, other runners, and talking about 3rd grader stuff. When we reached about half way her legs started itching bad and she wanted to walk for a while. I turned to her and gave her my mantra (Who knows where I came up with this! But it seems to help!) that I share with my running friends, "Mylee we started strong, we are staying strong and we will finish strong! Now let's keep moving!" She smiled, liking the idea and picked up her pace.
Just yesterday I called my sister and Mylee answered. I asked her "Where are you? Are you guys getting along? Are you being good for your mom?" She replied, "Ya, were just watching Shrek." I said, "Hey My can you do me a favor? Next week when your Momma's having a rough day unpacking the boxes, will you grab both her shoulders and look into her eyes and tell her, "Mom we started strong, we are staying strong and darn it, we are going to finish strong! And then give her the biggest hug and tell her I love her." I could tell in her voice she was smiling remember our run one morning not too long ago.
We gotta dig deep when change is all around us. Dig deep into our roots, our foundation, what makes us who we are. I've been on both ends, changing and just being still and you have to know who you are . Who are you? We need to know when times are rocky. Solidify your faith for when the waves of life come crashing in. Anchor your soul to the Lord.
Just yesterday I called my sister and Mylee answered. I asked her "Where are you? Are you guys getting along? Are you being good for your mom?" She replied, "Ya, were just watching Shrek." I said, "Hey My can you do me a favor? Next week when your Momma's having a rough day unpacking the boxes, will you grab both her shoulders and look into her eyes and tell her, "Mom we started strong, we are staying strong and darn it, we are going to finish strong! And then give her the biggest hug and tell her I love her." I could tell in her voice she was smiling remember our run one morning not too long ago.
We gotta dig deep when change is all around us. Dig deep into our roots, our foundation, what makes us who we are. I've been on both ends, changing and just being still and you have to know who you are . Who are you? We need to know when times are rocky. Solidify your faith for when the waves of life come crashing in. Anchor your soul to the Lord.
What can we do for friends that are experiencing change?
1) Have patience. Everyone has something they struggle with. Some are just better at hiding it. Be patient with your friends when they may have a short fuse.
2) Lend a hand. Be willing to pack a box, bring over a lunch, send them a text. Let them know you care.
3) Give un decided attention and listen. Most of the time people wanna feel validated and heard.
4) Give advice when asked (or give unsolicited advice, like me, which always go practically perfect every time! ;) ;))
While attending my great aunt Peggy's funeral They showed a video of her life and the last scene they shared this quote she would tell us all the time, "God is in his heaven and every things going to be ok." I love this simple yet profound message! Be still my soul.
Much summer love-
Auna Leigh
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