free hugs

I don't quite know how this will go, nor where it'll end.  We'll just have to start at the beginning.  Ever since I was a little girl I was known as a love bug.  When my mom asked my sister what she wanted to be when she grew up, my sister responded, "More loving, like Auna."  This was something I was apparently born with.  I have a gift to love.  

I was always bummed out when I didn't make the dance teams, or excelled in Home Ec.  I roll my eyes when I see perfectly put together moms.  I've struggled for years with the knowledge that I do not possess a visible talent.  It's no super human power, but I have come to realize that love is needed.

We can all show our love in many ways.   Kindly offering to let someone in your lane, smiling at a stranger, waving to your neighbor, or offering a middle schooler a ride.  Apparently the last is a "no no".  Last month when we had Arctic weather I offered a girl around twelve walking on slippery ice a ride.  I rolled down all my car windows so she could see there were other kids in the car and offered her a ride.  My daughter was mortified.  "Mom, I don't know what it was like when you grew up but you CAN'T do that any more.  Some girl at school was being followed, last week."  So I guess stay away from offer kids you don't know anything.  I guess most kidnappers are moms with carpoolers already in the car.  ;)

I love dropping off my kids as school and waiting to hear, "I love you Mom." even though its usually quick and not while looking at me.  I love when they don't and I get to roll down my window and yell, "Honey, you forgot to say I love you!  I love you!  I love you! I love you!"  I even like to add blaring music or a honk of my horn.  Saying I love you is important, but showing love is magical. 

Psychotherapist Virginia Satir famously said: "We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth."

Hugs are so important, there's a National Hug Day. If you don't believe me, google it.  

f you need a hug, give a hug.  

Yesterday I hugged a couple of my friends and I notice I received more endorphins and I felt happier. Appropriate physical touch helps reduce stress, and makes us feel loved and accepted.  Many report that when people are in comas they respond better when they are being touched.  

I have two littles that know how to give hugs.  All my children love hugs and need them equally, but these two just know when you need the biggest hugs.  I love getting wrapped up by my seven year old.  I love how healing they make me feel.  He wasn't always a cuddly one.  In fact he was a very busy two and three year old.  He was an angry five year old.  He struggled.  We tried many things.  What worked for us was recognizing his strengths and focusing on them.  One was his magnificent hugs.  I make sure I get one hug a day from him because they didn't always come easily.  

I love getting hugs and giving hugs.  I love when I'm "discussing" with Mr. C and tensions are high, tears are falling and he wraps me up in a big hug.  A part of me wants to push away and sometimes I do, but if I let him hold me, then slowly the tension melts away.  It's not a huge miracle, BAM I feel better; rather it is a smidgen of a hope that helps resolve our differences.  

I grew up in a house that hugged a lot.  We loved a lot.  I guess having 5 girls and then a little brother, made us a more "touchy feely" family.  I am grateful for a Dad that wraps me up in a bear hug, my mom who holds my hand, my sisters who usually do some kind of grabbing, mostly inappropriate so, aunts who remember my birthdays with lip balm, grandpa's that hug and whisper, "You're my best girl!"  

When you're feeling down and out, happiness is only a hug away.  So get out there wrap up that Christmas shopping and spread some love with a smile and if you're feeling it, a great big hug!